She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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