i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
