Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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