Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
