One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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