Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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