he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
