remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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