Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
