sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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