WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
