I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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