I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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