She announced her abortion via fbk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
