9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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