Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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