There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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