I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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