At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
