he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
