Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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