Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
