So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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