My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
