That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
