apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
