Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
