she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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