The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
