My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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