i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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