i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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