If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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