Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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