I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
