I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
