She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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