im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh god it's open bar.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
