I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
