Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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