What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
