Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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