Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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