party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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