He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
