Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
