I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
