Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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