HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
