Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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