I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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