Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
