i think my tv is drunk
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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