1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
