it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
